Are you giving up yourself for your to-do list? Here’s how to stop it today.

Are you giving up yourself for your to-do list? Here’s how to stop it today.

When was the last time you did something for yourself?

I’m talking about getting a massage. Taking yourself out to dinner. Buying yourself something you really wanted. Going for a walk instead of cleaning the dishes after dinner. Celebrating yourself and all of your awesomeness just because (oh, I’m sorry, did you think you needed a special occasion in order to do that?).

We are so busy. We go to sleep busy. We wake up busy. Heck, we even dream busy! We busy ourselves with work, care taking, child rearing, house cleaning, and other “priorities” throughout the day. And then we go to bed angry with ourselves for not having got it all done, or exhausted because we did, in fact, get it all done. We got to cross off all the items on our to-do list. Score! And what is waiting for us tomorrow? Another long list of things to do. *Sigh*

In the fog of our to-do lists and pinging technology, there’s a secret that most of us know deep down but are too busy to acknowledge, mostly because it’s inconvenient:

We need to be the priority. We are the priority. Over anything we can possibly put on our list of things to do, including caring for our spouses and children, nothing can take priority over ourselves. We must come before every other item on the list of seemingly important tasks on our ever growing to do lists. Because if we are not healthy and able bodied, how on earth will we ever get it all done?

Let’s do a fun exercise (ok, maybe not so much fun as revealing).

If you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being, “I’m a complete mess,” and 10 being, “I am mostly stress free,” where would your level of stress be?

You see, stress creeps up on us. Even if we’re happy and everything is honky dory, stress sometimes lurks around you, creeping its way into your life, dulling your happiness just a little, bloating your tummy, giving you a headache, causing you to snap at someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Research shows that more than anything else, stress is the number one underlying factor contributing to the onset of disease. That includes cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and other chronic diseases. So even if you’re a green juice drinking, vegetable loving, fitness freak who won’t touch processed food and thinks sugar is a swear word, if you’re stressed out more often than not, you will be no further away from disease than a fast food loving, couch potato who can’t even spell the word stress. In fact, you just might be closer to it.

It doesn’t seem fair, does it?!

But it’s true. And if any part of your rational mind is thinking this must be a fallacy, just recall the physical reactions that arise in your body when you feel stress. Sweaty palms? Butterflies in your stomach? Tightness in your jaw? Dry mouth or throat? Clenched fists? Increase heart rate? Migraine headaches?

If acute stress can cause those kinds of reactions, make no mistake about it: underlying stress – no matter the intensity – is causing harmful physiological reactions inside you. And these reactions result in inflammation, the arrow to stress’ bow.

Inflammation may be the cornerstone of the body’s ability to heal, but it’s only supposed to hang around for long enough to cure the body’s ailment. When it hangs around too long, it causes unnecessary inflammation, which is the cornerstone of disease. In short? Too much inflammation too much of the time = a breeding ground for disease that no amount of green juices can conquer.

So let’s forget about busyness for a second. Let’s put away the to-do lists. And let’s resolve to make ourselves a priority not just today, but every day.

And since any journey begins with the first step, take one today. Do something nice for yourself today. Take a bath. Catch up with your friends. Curl up on the couch and read a book. And for goodness sake – don’t worry about those dishes in the sink. Someone will get to them. Later.

And tomorrow? Do something else for yourself. If you want to get really fancy, you can meditate! But avoid this practice if the thought of meditating causes you more stress than it does calm. We’ll tackle that another time.

To help you gauge your progress, every day for the next week, make it a point to do the stress test a few times a day. If your score is low, ask yourself:

  1. What is causing this stress right now?
  2. Is there anything I can do about it? If so, what?
  3. Do I have to let it affect me this way? If not, what could I do to calm down?

Then take a few deep breaths, bring down your heart rate, and proceed with the rest of your day. Remember – nothing is a big deal. And the only meaning any given situation has is the one we give it.

By next week, see if you can get your overall stress level closer to 10 than you are to 1 on your stress test on account of how well you were able to de-stress this week.

Because it’s all you. No one else can care for you quite like you can. So go take care of your fabulous self. You are number one. Your to-list will just have to wait.

Love, love, love,
Lauren
xxx

Photo credit: I took the photo, but the artwork is by Peter Tunney at his gallery in Miami. I highly encourage visiting the gallery – and meeting Peter! He is quite the guy – and the artist!