Some days I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time in which to do it. But I’m excited about the list of things in front of me, and I can’t wait to get started.

Other days, I feel completely unmotivated to the point that I begin to question the validity of the things on my to do list in the first place. On those days, instead of tackling the list, I zone out and move onto other things: laundry, dishes, staring off into space, worrying about things that will probably never happen, beating myself up for not starting what needs to be done. You know. The usual.

But since I live my work life (aka the one outside of being a full time mama) during nap times and after baby’s bedtime, I don’t have any moments to spare for these inconvenient existential crises. And since I never know if baby will nap for fifteen minutes or for two hours, I’m constantly feeling rushed.

(It reminds me of taking a test in high school. You know that moment when you only have a few questions left, and you make the mistake of breaking your flow and looking up at the clock. Your stomach drops when you realize there are only five minutes remaining. In reality, five minutes is likely all you need to finish the test. Four, even. But somehow knowing that you only have five minutes left causes the blood to rush to your brain, effectively clouding it and filling you with so much anxiety that you can no longer think clearly.

Enter sweaty palms, careless mistakes, shaking hands, and a cloud of doom hanging over you.

Thanks, time. Thanks.)

So what does one do when one has so much to do and no focus at all?

Walk away.

That’s right. Walk away from the list.

Even if you tried to attack something on the list, in your unfocused state of mind, it would be highly unproductive. Sometimes you just have to accept what is. The more you try to resist, the more the feeling of unfocus will persist.

So walk away. Do something else. Something that lights you up. Go for a walk. Go for a run. Read a trashy magazine if that’s your thing. Listen to music. Have a cup of tea and stare off into good ol’ space.

In my humble opinion, this lack of focus is your body’s way (or rather, your mind’s) of telling you, “Hey! Hey you! I need a minute, ok! Slow down! Let me catch my breath! And if you listen to me, I promise we’ll get it all done! Just. Not. Now.

Ok?”

Now, if this has been happening to you for more than a few days in a row, that presents a problem: if you keep walking away from it all, nothing will get done.

In that case, I would ask you these two questions:

1. Do you really want to be doing what’s on the list? Do you really have to be doing it?

Do I want to do dishes and laundry? Not really. But I have to. Because I’m not going to keep buying new dishes and clothes just because I don’t want to wash them.

Do I want to be writing a children’s book (my current project)? Yes. Do I have to? No. But it lights me up. And so even on the days where I feel like I suck, and I should just quit, my desire to see it through trumps my inner critic.

So to be sure, there are always going to be things that you don’t want to do, but have to do, as well as things that you want to do, but don’t have to do.

It’s an important distinction, one that will help you better navigate not only your to do list, but also your motivation and emotions about the things on that list.

Let’s not forget what the late Steve Jobs said in his commencement address to the graduating class at Stanford, “For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

I realize it’s not that easy to change something so quickly, but at least it’s good information to know that you need to start the process of making a change. Some changes are quick and easy, while others require a little more time, a lot more patience, and a crap load of faith.

2. Once you’ve figured what lights you up, what doesn’t, and what needs to be done whether you like it or not, pick one thing on your now (hopefully) updated list, and do it. Just start. The journey of a thousands miles really and truly does begin with the first step (even if you’re not excited about the journey. Though I’m thinking it’s time I found a way to get excited about laundry day. Things would be a lot brighter if I did!).

So often, the day before a blog post is due, I’ll have nothing written. I’ll go through all the reasons why I suck at writing, why I have nothing to say, why I’m a failure and will never amount to anything. But I’ll inevitably sit down at the computer and force myself to write. Because though I don’t have to write these posts, I want to. And that desire helps me to push through my – at times – obnoxiously loud inner critic.

As evidenced by the hundreds of blog posts I have churned out over the years, it has worked for me. Sometimes the flow never comes, and I’ve posted some blogs that I find are not quite up to par, or didn’t completely capture the essence of what I was trying to say. But most of the time, it is within these moments of resistance that I actually produce some of my greatest works.

So the next time you find yourself staring at a list of things to do and not knowing where to start, use this formula, get clear on what you must do and what you just plain old want to do, and the clouds will soon start to part.

Love, love, love,

Your crazy and often times distracted and unmotivated friend,

Lauren
xxx