A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. For example, you’re two weeks older than you were last time – how about that? Maybe you’ve even celebrated a birthday, laid down in a field with fireflies (Amanda!), or had one of the best meals of your life (in which case, you must direct me to the place at which you dined, because I’ll be needing to make a reservation).

Oh, the difference a day makes, or in this case, 14 of them strung together!

That’s the thing about life. Hours turn into a day in what seems like the blink of an eye. Quickly, those days turn into weeks, and before you know it you’re plucking your first grey hair out of your head.

That’s why it’s so important to drink it all in before the ice melts and the cocktail is watered down, you know what I mean?

Two weeks ago, at my husband’s and friend, Michelle’s advice, I started a book called Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. I’d been resisting it for a year, coming to a solid conclusion that Ted’s excited retelling of the book was enough for me to live on. But Michelle’s final words of encouragement pushed me over the edge, and within 24 hours of the conversation, I found myself with my nose buried in the 933 paged book about a man who escapes from prison in Australia and flees to the slums of Bombay.

I wasn’t expecting to like it, and I certainly wasn’t expecting a book written by an ex con to be littered with so many lessons about life, not to mention prose and sentences so beautiful that I had to write them down lest they fall into the abyss of my memory.

This book is too important for you not to read, so whatever you do after you read this post, go onto Amazon or check your local library and get this book.

Without giving too much away, this is probably one of my favorite passages from the book, and what prompted me to write this blog post today:

“I remember one of Khaderbhai’s favorite phrases: Every human heartbeat is a universe of possibilities. And it seemed to me that I finally understood exactly what he’d meant. He’d been trying to tell me that every human will has the power to transform its fate. I’d always thought that fate was something unchangeable: fixed for every one of us at birth, and as constant as the circuit of the stars. But I suddenly realized that life is stranger and more beautiful than that. The truth is that, no matter what kind of game you find yourself in, no matter how good or bad the luck, you can change your life completely with a single thought or a single act of love.”

And there it is, friends. That last sentence holds the power that can free every one of us. Some of us have good days and bad. Some of us were born into amazing circumstances and haven’t had to want for anything. Others among us have not. Or we’ve had things taken away from us in the most horrible way.

Without justifying any of it, what that sentence that Shantaram utters does is gives us the power to choose how to move forward. It gives us freedom from suffering, but only if we choose it. Unfortunately a lot of us can’t see that freedom is a choice, because it’s a hard choice in the short term. It means having to let go of the perceptions of others, or having to forgive things we never thought we would have to (or want to) forgive. But it is the only way to free ourselves from the bonds of our minds. And as Bob Marley so eloquently sang, you must “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, because none but ourselves can free our minds.”

No one is denying that the atrocities you may have endured are incredibly debilitating, and I’m not judging any of them. I’ve experienced them myself. And I let them define me for a while, until I realized my heart was growing cold, and that was not how I wanted to live. But the severity of our suffering depends not only on the degree of the atrocity itself, but also, on the strength of character we possess at that particular point in our lives (you can probably attest that with life experience comes greater strength of character. We learn from every experience. How many times have you looked back on your heart broken 13 year old self, shaking your head and saying, “Oh kid, if you only knew what was coming!”?). But you must know that whatever you have gone through, others have gone through similar and worse. And this is not about comparison. The point is to know that you are not alone. And more importantly, when in your right mind, you always have the power to choose the outcome of the rest of your life, if only by choosing the thoughts you allow into your head.

As someone who has perhaps seen too much in the way of “unfairness” in her lifetime, this is a subject that is very close to my heart. But one of the many lessons I’ve learned through it all is that there is no such thing as fair and unfair. It’s not the universe’s job to be fair to me. It is my job to decide how I will respond in the face of the things it throws at me. It is my job to choose my perspective, even when it seems impossible and cruel to choose a positive one.

So in the spirit of changing our lives completely with a single thought or act of love, I thought I would give you 5 ways to have the best day of your life today. Because if not today, then when?

1. Do something nice for a stranger.

I was at the grocery story today and the cashier was admiring my Eataly bag. He wanted to get the phone number off it because he wanted to order himself a hat from the real Eataly store in Rome. I took note of his name, and came home to order him one. Why? Because random acts of kindness restore faith in humanity, they make people feel good, and gosh darnit, they make you feel good!

Does that mean you have to buy someone something? Heck no! But resolve to do at least one nice thing for a stranger today: give up your parking spot, hold the door open for someone, let someone go ahead of you in line at the grocery store, buy someone’s coffee. The possibilities are endless! I promise you, you will be smiling after the deed is done. And the other party will either not notice, look confused, or smile and say thank you. Don’t worry about their reaction. That isn’t your concern. Just do the deed and walk away knowing you made the world a brighter place today.

2. Do something nice for a loved one.

Does your aunt need help moving some boxes? Does your husband need a hand taking the garbage out today? Does your wife cook so much that she could use a nice dinner out or would love if you cooked dinner tonight? Does your grandmother love phone calls from you?

Whatever you can think of, do something nice for someone you love today. Your random act of love will only serve to strengthen theirs for you, and to make your heart grow 10 sizes bigger!

3. Apologize for something you need to apologize for, no matter how long ago the issue may have occurred.

Listen, we all get caught up in the throes of an argument, and sometimes – feeling like our backs are up against a wall – we say something we should not say. Or we leave out a minor detail we should have said. Or we let a secret slip that we promised someone we wouldn’t.

Whatever the case, think about something that maybe you need to apologize for. Call that person (or see them face to face, if possible), apologize without expecting to be forgiven or for them to even be happy that you did, and walk away knowing that you have restored your integrity today. Personal responsibility goes a long way in restoring trust in both ourselves and others, and it reverberates around the universe. Maybe your strength in being so brave in admitting you were wrong will give others the strength to do the same. Could you imagine how many angry people would suddenly become happy?

4. Publicly (and randomly) compliment someone on their Facebook wall!

My friend, Liza Utter, is one of the most beautiful, amazing, talented and kind-hearted people I’ve ever known. She asked if she could feature me in her Summer Fling series on her website, which I was flattered and honored to do. I posted the piece on my Facebook page the other day, and I got the nicest comments! I got comments from people I hadn’t seen in a while, like two of my high school English/Drama teachers, from old friends and new friends, and even from people who I’ve only known for a short time. And I have to tell you, I was nervous about posting the article for fear of tooting my own horn (I come from a long line of non-horn tooters), but reading the comments, I was smiling from ear to ear!

Then I thought, “Imagine if we did that from time to time. Imagine if we just wrote something really nice on someone’s Facebook wall for all to see, so that we could collectively acknowledge that person for being so awesome!” How good would that make both of you feel?

It can be as simple as writing, “You are beautiful,” or, “You make the world brighter just by being in it.” Or you can get into detail and tell the person exactly what you love about them, and why they make such a difference in your life. It’s public complimenting at its best! I dare you not to smile when you’re done. Go ahead: make someone’s day. It will end up making yours.

5. Take yourself out to dinner.

All this giving back is hard work, so to round out this best day of your life, you need to take care of yourself. Is there a restaurant you LOVE but don’t go to often because it’s expensive, or too far, or too…something? Or is there a restaurant you’ve been dying to try but haven’t for those same reasons? Well, tonight, you dine. Tonight, you get yourself dressed in your best outfit, the one that makes you feel sexy and confident, and you take yourself out to that restaurant. If you’re on a budget, fine. Just have a cocktail and an appetizer (or have a whole meal and cook at home for the next 2 weeks). Just make sure it’s not date night (don’t mess with date night), and seriously, don’t invite anyone but yourself. You need some “you” time, and you need to take yourself out to dinner to celebrate you and all of your glory.

BONUS:

Want a little more?

6. Resolve not to utter a single complaint today.

Not one, “I’m tired!” or “I hate working out!” or, “I’m so fat!” or, “I wish I had a bigger _______” – not a word. See how different your perspective can become so quickly!

7. Send out 5 greetings cards or bouquets of flowers (depending on your budget) to friends or family, just because.

The art of the hand written note or card is not quite dead, but it’s certainly on the chopping block. Do you remember what it was like to get one? Someone actually took the time to write to you. They braved the hand cramps, they bought a stamp, they walked to the mailbox, and they dropped that card in the post with intention!

Do that for 5 people you love today – or even people you barely know! Or send them flowers if budget allows. Or chocolate. Or edible arrangements. Seriously – the possibilities are endless.

That’s it, my friends. This is your recipe for the best day of your life. I promise if you do all 5 (or even 7) of these things, you will have the best day you’ve had in a long, long time.

I want to hear all the details, so please do this, and leave a comment below letting us all know what you did on your best day! And please – oh please – make sure to play the song, “Best Day of My Life” by American Authors. Because – duh!

With so much love and light,
Your crazy friend,

Lauren
xxx

Photo credit: Eva Marie Pursley of Vibrant Photography