6 Things That Will Make You a Better Person. Guaranteed.

It would seem that there is a universal truth about people everywhere, and it is this:

Everybody wants to love. And everybody wants to be loved.

At the heart of love is acceptance. It’s feeling like you are a part of something that matters, trusting that someone thinks you matter, that your life is important. It explains the strength of religion, families, friendships, schools at every level, and even cults or other organized groups whose core values and beliefs seem to be incredibly at odds with anything good and right. What those groups offer to their followers is acceptance. It’s just love in another form, and it really can move mountains – but also and unfortunately – cause destruction.

Last night I found myself sitting around a table of young professionals – attorneys, financial advisers, event planners, project managers – all of us eager to be apart of something bigger – much bigger – than ourselves. All of us wanting to spread love.

We were invited to join a Leadership Council/Associate Board for a charity called GO Campaign.

My dear friend, Scott Fifer, a former attorney in NYC, among many other impressive titles, started GO Campaign in 2005 after returning from a month long vacation in Kilimanjaro, Tanzania. Prior to the trip, he had been absorbed in work, and realized that it had been 10 years since he had last participated in any kind of charitable activities. So he dropped everything and vacationed to Africa. As he put it, “a group of street children in Kilimanjaro won [his] heart” changing his life forever. Even recounting the story some 9 years later still brings tears to his eyes:

“I founded GO because I met kids who were falling through the cracks but who have so much potential.”

When Scott returned to LA in 2005, he immediately established GO Campaign.

Since then, the organization has grown. With a local hero model, “GO Campaign improves the lives of orphans and vulnerable children around the world by partnering with local heroes to deliver local solutions.” They have now helped over 35 000 children in 26 countries, including the United States, providing total care for over 1000 orphans, education for over 16 000 children, nutrition and medical care for almost 19 000 children, and have established enrichment programs for over 7500 youths globally.

All of this because of one trip, and one man’s heart left forever changed.

What Scott has done is to tell these children that they are loved, that they matter, that they are not a mistake. That they are beautiful. He’s given them hope, and as a result, he’s opened up the door for them to change the world.

And if I can play even a small part in helping him to accomplish his mission, then my life will be forever changed too. Because I know the value of love. I know how I feel when someone lets me know that they love me, that I matter, that I am beautiful, and that I too can change the world. And I would like to pay that forward.

What’s more is that when I look back on moments that have marked or shaped my life, almost 100% of the time, I was doing something for someone else. Selflessness is food for the soul, and can bring you more happiness than money and power ever could.

The beautiful thing is that everyone, everywhere needs love. So, though it would be lovely, you don’t have to sit on the board of a charity or go out and volunteer once a week in order to spread love and kindness into the world. There are things you can put into practice every day that can bring this sense of love to the community around you.

Here are 6 ways to be selfless today:

Do one random act of kindness every day this week. Last week I was at the grocery store. I just needed one $1.69 tub of sour cream that I had forgotten to get earlier. The cashier accidentally scanned my item with the woman’s groceries in front of me. I caught it and told her it was mine, and as the woman was handing it back to the cashier to take if off her bill, she shook her head and said, “You know what? I’ll just buy it for you!” I had never met this woman, and probably wouldn’t see her again. And yet she paid for my grocery item. I protested, and tried to give her money, but she refused. I know it was only $1.69, but I don’t know her story. Maybe $1.69 was a big deal for her. And even if it wasn’t, it was a random act of kindness that warmed my heart for the rest of the day and made me want to pay it forward.

And that is what will change the world: paying it forward. So whenever you can today, do some random act of kindness for no other reason than to make someone else’s life a little brighter.

And it doesn’t have to be monetary. I’m staying with my sister at a hotel in Long Beach, and when the housekeeper came around today, I told her we didn’t need our room cleaned. But before she left, I offered her a cupcake that I had made and brought for my sister (sorry, sister – you’re down one cupcake!). She slipped this note under my door afterward.

I wasn’t expecting anything in return. But her note brightened my whole day. All because I gave her a single cupcake (:

Compliment someone. You can do it to a friend, but also, a stranger. I saw a woman at a restaurant the other day and she had the most beautiful eyes. So I went up to her and told her so. She was touched!

Give people your full attention. You know that feeling when you first start dating someone, or even when you just meet someone remarkable, and they make you feel like you’re the only person in the room? It’s an incredible feeling, and it cannot help but to make you smile. So why not resolve to make everyone you encounter feel this way? Whether it’s a person on the bus or street asking you for directions or a co-worker in the elevator, give them your full attention. Make them feel important. Put down your book, your papers, your phone. Make eye contact. Touch their arm in some non-creepy way that let’s them know you are listening, you care, and that you are there for them in that moment. It may seem insignificant, but never underestimate the power that can come from love, no matter how big or small the gesture.

Reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Call them and let them know you’re thinking of them. Or send them flowers, or a card, or some random gift that you know they will love. And for no other reason than you wanted to let them know you were thinking about them.

Donate to a charity you love. Even if you only have $5 to give, do it. Every dollar counts. Every now and again I will donate anywhere from $5, $20 to even $50 to a charity that I love. My two particular go tos are obviously GO Campaign, but I also love International Medical Corps, “a global, humanitarian, nonprofit organization dedicated to saving lives and relieving suffering through health care training and relief and development programs.”

Just be nice. Sometimes people are going to make you mad. You’ll want to yell. You’ll even want to throw an insult at them depending on the severity of what they’ve done to make you angry. And in many cases, they may be expecting you to. But what if you chose a different reaction? And, by gosh, what if you chose to respond without hate in your voice? Without anger? What impact do you think that could have?

I’m always thinking about the mark I leave on the world. And anytime I react in anger – whether I’m giving someone the finger on the PCH (that never happens….) or reacting immediately to an upsetting situation by yelling at the people around me – I always regret it. Always. Because I don’t want to be thought of as an angry person. That’s not the mark I want to leave on the world and it’s certainly not the energy I want to put out there either. Of course, on the other side of it, I don’t want to be a pushover, and in many circumstances, getting angry is justified. But I’d rather choose a more constructive reaction that breeds solution and personal responsibility rather than one that causes someone to feel bad. What’s more, when you get yelled at, the first reaction, naturally, is to defend yourself, regardless of whether you are right or wrong. So reacting in anger only breeds more anger. Choose a kinder approach, and you will likely not only come to a solution more quickly, but more importantly, you will teach the people involved that kindness goes a lot further than hatred.

There are so many random acts of kindness and compliments to be given, so many ways you can leave a positive impact on the world, spreading love with the opening of a door, the warmth of a smile, or the sweet sound of a “how do you do.”

Choose one that works for you, and resolve to make the world around you a better place. Like a wave at a baseball game, pay it forward again and again….and again.

Love, love, love,
Lauren
xxx

For more information on GO Campaign, visit gocampaign.org. If you are in the Los Angeles area, GO Campagin is hosting a fundraiser on Saturday May 17th. If you are interested in attending, details are on the website.

For more information on International Medical Corps, visit internationalmedicalcorps.org