Last week, my husband and I were having a somewhat heated conversation about goals.

If you’ve been reading this blog for some time, then you know me. I am somewhat of a goals freak. I admit that freely. I’m constantly setting goals, sometimes checking them off, and sometimes abandoning them when I realize they’re no longer what I want. Heck, I even started a goals group in my own time during culinary school, even though I was in school full time and working 3 jobs just to pay the bills. Some might call that crazy. I call it passionate.

And last Monday, I started a nutrition program to become a certified health coach so I can help people live their best, most healthy, most powerful lives.

So yes, I’m passionate about goals: setting them, achieving them, and coaching others on how to do the same.

But lately, I’ve been a bit of a pain in the ass about it.

(That might be the understatement of the century).

Every time my poor husband mentions something in passing that he would like to do – an idea, a business, a video –  I spring into action! I grab my notebook, grab a calendar, talk about deadlines and action points, and get totally crazy about it.

(Thank goodness he already married me – there’s nowhere to run! It’s like Hotel California – you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave!)

The poor guy cannot mention one thing that’s on his mind before Type A Lauren comes out to play. And she plays hardball.

Not always a good thing for anyone, especially a marriage. Note to self.

When I came back down to planet earth, realizing my folly, I apologized to him for trying to be more of a life coach than a wife. And you know what? He doesn’t need my help. He’s doing just fine on his own. He’s done everything he set out to achieve, and he’s working toward other goals too. It’s just that, apparently, sometimes, I just can’t help myself!

After apologizing for my behavior (remember: apologizing is good for your marriage, and incidentally, your soul), the conversation was left lingering in my mind. It really got me thinking:

I talk a lot about setting goals and give strategies on how to set them, but I never talk about actually actioning them.

Once you set a goal, you set deadlines for their achievement. But how do you actually carry it out? How do you fit that goal into your already packed life? In other words, how do you create the time to achieve that goal?

1. First make sure you really want it: I get passionate about a lot of things, and often find myself saying, “We should start a business that does x,” or “we should write an e-book that teaches people how to do y.” I don’t have time to do half of the “brilliant” and not-so-brilliant ideas that come out of my mouth. So the trick to achieving a goal is to decipher between the brainstorming ideas, and the ones that really have weight. The ones that have weight are the ones that send tingles along your spine and butterflies in your stomach because you feel so passionately about them. Those are the ones you should go for.

Additionally, I sometimes used to set goals that made me “look good,” whether it was to please my parents or impress a friend. I’d even sometimes set goals that I thought should “logically” be the next step in my life. But I didn’t actually want to achieve said goals. Goals are hard enough to achieve on their own, so the only way to achieve them is to really want them to happen. Because it’s going to take hard work and time that you don’t yet have. So lose the “looking good” goals, find the ones that have weight, and focus on achieving those.

2. Be realistic: don’t be a victim of goals overload: Once you’ve identified the goals that you really want to achieve, now it’s time to get real with your schedule and your life. You might not be able to put all of the goals you would like to accomplish into action at the same time. For example, if you have a goal to complete an Ironman and to become a chef in the same year, but you have to go to culinary school and train for the triathlon, all while trying to maintain your current work and life schedule, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Instead, decide which one you want to do first, and proceed accordingly. Judge all your goals in this way, looking for ones that can be scheduled right away, and ones that need to wait.

3. Do your homework: What do you need to get this goal accomplished? What skills, education, networks and relationships are missing in your life that will make this goal a reality? Define what those are and then create a plan to acquire what you need.

4. Collect information from others: It seems that every time I’m contemplating a career change, I start collecting information from friends, family, peers, and honestly, anyone who is willing to talk to me and give me some advice. If I’m thinking of a particular industry, I will interview people already working in that industry. So whatever your goal is, seek out mentors, people in the industry, or people who you know can guide you in the achievement of your goal. Take them to lunch or dinner (your treat), and ask for their honest opinion and advice.

5. Schedule time to cultivate your goal: This is the hard part. Because you’re already busy. But you have this goal, this big thing that you want to achieve. But you still need to sleep, pay the bills, do your job, take care of the kids, take care of the household, and all around, remain an awesome, functioning, fun-to-be-around person. How can you do it? You have to be nutty about your schedule. You have to schedule out your weeks down to the day – heck, even down to the hour – and schedule time for the achievement of that goal. The key is to break your goals down into all the action steps required for their achievement, and schedule those action steps into your calendar as you see fit.

6. Believe you can do it and constantly check in to make sure you still want it: I always have trouble with the voice in my head that says, “You can’t do that!” every time I’m going after a particularly big goal. Thankfully my belief in myself always trumps that terrible voice, and so, I’ve managed to achieve almost all that I’ve set out to do.

For those goals that I haven’t yet accomplished, there are two reasons for their tardiness:

1. I am still working on them or

2. I didn’t want to do them anymore and so, they are dead to me.

It’s extremely important to constantly check in with yourself where your goals are concerned not only to make sure you are staying on track, but also, to make sure that you are still passionate about them. The truth is, sometimes, you’re not. And that’s ok! But you need to figure that out sooner than later, because time is a precious resource, and you don’t have any of it to waste. So believe in yourself, and regularly check on the progress of your goals.

If luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, then by setting and actioning your goals, you will surely create your own luck.

Go get em, tiger!

Your crazy friend.
Lauren
xxx