I’m going to level with you.

Every time I sit down to write this blog post, I find a reason not to do it. A good reason? Heck no. But enough of an excuse to run the clock and not do it.

The truth is I’ve just been too scared. To attempt to organize my thoughts into some rational pattern for you to understand has been entirely too daunting for me, not to mention incredibly revealing. You would understand if you could hear the thoughts rattling around in my brain, crashing into each other like a bird crashing into a window it doesn’t know is there.

Here’s what happens:

I sit down at the computer, force myself to sign into my wordpress account (why is it so hard?), write a sentence or two, backspace, write it again, stare off into space, bring my attention back to the screen and, oh look a new e-mail! Check it, respond to it, get mad at myself for getting distracted and click back to my blog tab, re-read the sentence(s), decide it’s crap and that I have nothing important to say, and walk away from the computer for another month…or 3.

Ah, self deprecation. I always allow it to find me, but today, I’m finally refusing to allow it to own me.

Two really important things happened to me in the last few months that have led to a complete career and life overhaul.

1. My battle with sugar

2. My desire for, and realization that I can have financial freedom

Here it is, folks, the chronology of the events leading up to today. I like to call it my personal…

Recipe for a Career Change

6 months of culinary school with high hopes to become a pastry chef and open a bakery some day.

6 months interning for Duff Goldman and Charm City Cakes West, my dream job.

8 more months working as the head baker for Charm City Cakes West, my double dream job, just like a double rainbow.

8 months baking 1400 cakes a week (bumped to 2000 this week).

8 months baking 1000 cupcakes a week.

5 months listening to books on tape in the bakery to attempt to drown out the monotony of my day to day, and the thoughts that continuously shout, “What are you doing with your life?” My “dream job” was quickly becoming not so dreamy.

1 day perfecting my PMA – Positive Mental Attitude! Thanks, Napoleon Hill!

2 weeks listening to Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.

1 important mental shift: deciding that I need a career change so I can make my money work for me instead of the other way around.

2 weeks learning about passive income and wanting it for myself.

4 months (and counting) fighting the demons in my head that say I’m not worthy enough, smart enough, deserving enough – I’m not enough to have this kind of income.

Continuously choosing to rise above the destructive internal dialogue by interviewing my successful entrepreneurial friends, asking them how they made their money and what they do to keep it, make it grow, and ultimately make their money work for them every second of every day.

2 weeks being shocked at other people’s salaries, and then angry that I’ve allowed myself not to go after the same thing. There is no one to blame but me.

5 months (and counting) being excited about the possibilities that lay before me in my quest for financial freedom.

2 1/2 years dealing with my mood swings and weight fluctuations as a result of eating too much sugar and refined flours.

2 1/2 years trying to hide it from everyone else.

2 1/2 years trying to kid myself into thinking I could eat sugar in moderation and teach other people to do the same.

1 moment finally coming to terms with my battle with sugar: it offers no nutritional value, and has no place in my diet. I can no longer be a stand for sugar.

1 important life changing decision: I no longer want to be a pastry chef.

5 months of trying to figure out what career path I should take next, and beating myself up about changing careers….again.

5 months sending out resumes, reaching out to contacts, and trying to get a job in something I wasn’t even certain how to define yet.

1 job offer to work as the director of sales, marketing and audience development for a health care media channel. Thank you universe, hello new dream job!

Directions

1. Place all ingredients into a big bowl and allow them to marinate for 3 or so years.

2. Put all judgement aside, and choose to be enough, to drown out the self doubt, and to listen to your intuition. This is your life, and no one else’s.

3. Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know that without a doubt that you were made for amazing things. And if you don’t get it right the first time, or the second, or the third, don’t worry. Try, try, try again. Life is not about the destination, it’s about the journey. And if you let it, it can be one heck of a ride!

 

With love,

Lauren

xxx