When I set out to write this blog post today, I had no idea what it was going to be about.

In fact, I still don’t, so bare with me (bare with me? Bear with me? Whatever.).

This morning, I woke up late (if you consider 7am late) because of a sleepless, nightmare filled night I had that preceded my alarm (I was trapped in my car that wouldn’t start in a dark parking lot when a bunch of cars with men who were up to no good started approaching my window. With no cell reception, no escape, and not a soul in sight (apart from the hooligans), one man menacingly came up to my window, looking like he was about to hurt me. I woke up before he did).

Fighting the Monday blues (and the fatigue that came with being up for 2 hours after my 3am nightmare), instead of springing out of bed and snapping to attention like I normally do (ha – just kidding, that doesn’t happen), I decided to give myself some space. I lay there, and within a few moments, remembered that today was the first day of Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s summer 21 day meditation (it’s free, and it’s great if you want to try it out). The theme is about gratitude and grace. I opened up Day 1 and lay in bed for 20 minutes, listening to their soothing voices, letting their message wash over me, and meditating on what I was grateful for (chocolate cake, cookies, pizza….oh and Ted, my family, my friends…).

When it was over, I decided that my legs needed some torture, but my mind needed some education, so I pulled out my Tony Horton plyometrics legs routine (barf – and I mean that in the nicest possible way, Tony), set up shop in the living room, and listened to a podcast called Louder Than Words that featured marketing guru, Seth Godin (who, incidentally, announced his candidacy for presidency on July 1st). I got educated while I squatted, jumped, sweat, and cursed Tony’s name after and in between every move (but in the end the menacing language was replaced with nothing but grace and gratitude, thanks to my morning meditation reminding me to do so).

If you don’t know Seth Godin, and you’re in any kind of business that requires you to market and promote, you should read Seth’s books and blog like they are the Bible (or Vogue – or whatever your version of the Bible happens to be). Because they are. At least, in the marketing world.

Seth posts a blog every single day. And he’s been doing it for 10 years. He writes about what he sees in hopes that the content might help someone see things more clearly in their own journey. As he says, “I don’t write about things that matter to me. I write about things that matter to others. That is the key.” He also understands that he can’t always succeed. For every bestselling book, there are thousands of naysayers who rate him poorly on Amazon and call him any number of nasty things. Despite the sting of the remarks, those reviews act as some of his greatest teachers. They tell him where he missed the mark. They tell him if his next idea is good or bad. As he brushes himself off from the sting of the bad reviews, rather than allow them to stifle his creativity, he has simply found a better way to manage the bad reviews in his head. He uses them as tools for empowerment rather that tools for his demise.

In the podcast, he explains this concept with a metaphor (because, why not?). He says that no one ever goes up to a marathon runner and asks them how to run without getting tired. Because that’s impossible. Every runner gets tired, professional or not. But the difference between a pro and an amateur is that they know where to put the tired.

That really struck a chord with me, because I have so often used the words, “I can’t. I’m tired.”

(Guilty).

Can you relate?

And as far as where we put our “tired,” sometimes I put the tired to bed for a nice long nap on the couch because that’s what my body is asking for. Some of you might drown your tired in glass of scotch because you don’t know where else to put it. And others might use the tired as an excuse to neglect their body and eat another twinkie because, “I’m tired, I still have to work, and I deserve a reward.”

(Guilty again. Though it’s not usually a twinkie so much as it is an entire pint of chocolate peanut butter Coconut Bliss ice cream).

We do all sorts of things to manage our tired, but how many of us can say that we manage it optimally?

(I’m fairly certain the pint of ice cream is not an example of well managed tired. But it sure does taste good while it’s going down!)

To make matters even more confusing, our tired isn’t really just comprised of being fatigued. Our tired is usually also laced with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of not knowing enough, doing enough, being enough. It’s much easier to quit when you’re tired than to admit that you’re quitting because you’re afraid. And quite often, the joke is on us, because we actually are legitimately tired. But that’s just because our fear has clouded our judgement and we haven’t learned how to manage the tired in the most optimal way.

Let’s go back to the running metaphor to explain what I mean. Of course, if you’re running 26 miles and you get tired, well, that’s legitimate tired. And if you’ve tried and tried to get a better time and constantly fail, then you could quit. But that’s bad management of your tired. Because your tired is telling you to look deeper. It’s asking you to analyze your training routine. Could you be doing different cross training workouts? Are you working out for too long? Too little? Too late in the day? Are you lifting too much weight? Not enough weight? Are you properly fueling your workouts, or are you over fueling them? The tired also asks you to analyze your dietary habits. Do you burn carbs instead of fat? Is that working for you? Do you carb load the night before a big run? Does it make you feel sluggish? Have you tried something else? Do you still eat fast food and desserts? Could you stand to clean up your diet?

Ultimately, the tired helps you to fine tune your approach to eating, training, and life in general. But that doesn’t mean it goes away. It’s always going to be there in some form. So the final step for a runner is to choose some kind of meditation exercise that helps them place – or rather – displace the tired when it creeps up. It requires them to acknowledge it and keep going in spite of it. Maybe they’ve learned to say some kind of a mantra when it comes up, or they’ve learned to see it as an ally instead of as an enemy. I don’t know. That is up to them, and is unique for every person.

The obnoxious part about us as a species is that we have a tendency to hang onto the moments that hurt us and scare us for a lifetime (and that includes being fatigued), where we have no problem letting go of the moments that bathe us in love and happiness in a mere instant. Those moments are fleeting. And the ironic thing is that we all say that we are in pursuit of happiness and success. And yet we are so focused on it, in fact, that we forget to look up and see that it is already all around us each and every day.

Take me, for example. Today. In the car. Driving to my chiropractic appointment. I had satellite radio on, and as one song was ending, I started singing a song I really wanted them to play, and wishing they would play it. Just as soon as I finished singing the first line in my head, the note of the next song started, and my wish was answered – they were playing my song!!! I was so excited, I smiled in spite of myself, and sang the song at the top of my lungs. I was daydreaming about how perfect that moment was, and how when things like that happen, I always take it as a sign from the universe that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I was behind a Tesla (my dream car), and it slowed down considerably fast. I slowed too, happy to get a closer glimpse at my future car. Apparently I had come too close to them and lingered too long because out popped a girl’s fist from the passenger window who proceeded to give me the finger!!!!

I went from cloud 9 to absolutely crushed in zero seconds flat.

And the worst part of it was that I couldn’t stop thinking about it! For the rest of the 20 minute ride, all I could do was beat myself up for getting so close and for being stupid enough to daydream about when I would drive a Tesla. My self deprecation quickly turned to anger, and I had to stop myself from speeding up and driving alongside the car to give them a piece of my mind (I come from a long line of road ragers, and I’m sorry to say, I’ve done that before. More than once. And it always involves a hand gesture I’m not proud of.).

What happened to all the happy? The song? The singing out loud? The universe’s reminder that I was exactly where I was meant to be?

Gone. All in the lift of a middle finger. Gone.

We do that. Us humans. We do that. We let anger overcome us, and if it’s not anger, it’s sadness or defeat. Or tired.

The other night (I promise this is relevant, and I’m wrapping up), I watched a short movie called The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved my Life about Alice Herz Ommer, the oldest living survivor of the World War II concentration camps. Despite having lost her family in the war, she is always happy, and always laughing. And at 109 years old, she’s also still playing the piano every day. One of her friends is also interviewed for the film, and she explained something so profound, I think I will be marked forever. She said that the day the Nazi’s came to take her father away, he looked at his family and reminded them to always be calm, because that was the greatest weapon available to them. No one could take it away from them, no matter what else happened.

Reflecting on the moment, she says that everyone thinks of the Holocaust and gets sad. But not her. She thinks of it and is grateful. Because when you live not knowing if that day – or even that moment – will be your last, you learn how to embrace the calm, to always choose it, and to always live in the moment, paying attention to everything there is to be grateful for: breath. Laughter. Music. Friendship.

How many of us can say that about ourselves? How many of us let the flip of a finger, the scream of a child, the sting of bad news ruin our days in an instant, forgetting all of the good that came before it – and missing all of the good that comes after it?

When will we learn to let go of fear, let go of judgment of ourselves, let go of trying to be perfect, let go of the actions of others who react in anger, and just enjoy every moment in all of its perfection? The sound of the keys as you type. The jiggle of the car keys in the door when your loved one gets home. The sound and feel of the tea as it slides down your throat.

Those are perfect moments, and we miss them. In our quest toward happy, we miss all the happy! In our quest toward success, we miss all the success that surrounds us. The success that lives and breathes in the moments between. That is truly the ultimate success in life. To live – to truly live – before we die.

Is there somewhere in your life where your “tired,” or rather, fear, is holding you back?

Are you easily triggered by other people’s gut reactions, whether it be your boss yelling at you, a friend not calling you when she said she would, or a driver cutting you off and then giving YOU the finger (the nerve!)?

The best remedy for that is to be calm, as Alice’s friend said. But how do you get there? Get yourself a journal. Every day (yes, every day), write down at least 10 things that happened in your day that were good. Don’t make them any bigger than they need to be. For example:

I got to eat the most amazing salad today.

My morning stretch after I woke up.

Breathing.

The sound of the trees blowing in the wind.

The smell of cherry blossoms on the street.

The smile on my boss’ face after seeing my report.

 

They may not seem like much, but those moments are everything. And the more you can focus on the good moments in your life, and don’t take them for granted, the less you will be triggered by things beyond your control, and the less you will let being tired (and fearful) hold you back from achieving the things you want in this life. This is how you manage your tired, and take control of your life.

So grab your journal, maybe sign up for Oprah and Deepak’s meditation, and find your calm. Resolve to go about your day enjoying every moment, every bite, every piece of food, every sound, every everything. I dare you not to see the world in a whole new light.

Love, love, love,

Lauren
xxx