“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain

There is no denying it: I am a worrier. And like Mark Twain, I mostly worry about things that never happen. Oftentimes I make scenarios up in my head, and let them play out like the makings of a good horror movie. It mostly has to do with disappointing other people, though there is the odd, “Oh my gosh, the pilots must have fallen asleep in the cockpit and we’re all going to die!” and the, “if there was an earthquake right now, what would I do? Where would I run? Would the ceiling cave in here? If so, I should probably move to the left. But what if it falls over there? Then I should probably move to the right. Note to self: sign up for earthquake preparedness classes (and stop watching Hollywood natural disaster movies for a while).”

Welcome to the ramblings of my crazy mind.

Most of the time, I’m able to escape these moments unharmed, laughing at myself for having taken it so far. But other times, I get stuck in the moments. The moments turn to hours, the hours turn to days, and before I know it, I’m in a funk and I can’t get out of it.

Logically, I understand that everything is a choice. I get to choose if I want to be happy, angry, sad, excited, grateful, and even filled with worry.

But sometimes – even though logically I know that I am the only one who gets to decide what to feel at any given time – I simply cannot muster the strength of character to make the better choice. To choose to be happy. To choose not to let my worries swallow me whole.

And so, they do.

This seems to happen whenever my birthday is near (it’s on Friday). I start to take stock of my life, and though I have more blessings than I can count on my fingers and toes, I somehow seem to focus on the things I have not yet accomplished, or the ways in which I have not yet developed my character.

In an effort to get over myself, I’ve been reading The Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power by Brendon Burchard. You can get a free copy on his website and take a 12 week course that goes along with it. I highly recommend it. It is really helping me. And it helped me to get out of my self-deprecating funk.

In the book, Brendon reminds us that, “none of us wants to be the cause of our own failure in life – yet most of us are. It is our own inept thinking, our own bad habits that rip the vibrancy from life. We are the ultimate oppressors of our own happiness.”

That’s exactly what happens when you’re in a funk. You are being an oppressor of your own happiness. You are letting the flood of negative thoughts rip you from your very privileged, very blessing-filled life! Or at least, that’s what it does for me.

It should be said that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. And I mean nothing! And yet last week, I allowed myself to be dragged down by some silly thoughts about where I thought I should be at this point in my life. I “should” all over myself, and it got me down.

And when we “should” all over ourselves (i.e. I should have taken out the garbage today, I should not have eaten that brownie, I should have learned how to play the piano, etc.), we rob ourselves of our personal freedom. And that is what makes all the difference. Because when we don’t feel free, we don’t feel like we are living.

As Brendon says, “It is the main motivation of humankind to be free, to express our true selves and pursue our dreams without restriction.”

And every time, hands down, the source of that restriction is none other than ourselves. Whether it’s restrictions in our minds, telling us over and over again that we cannot do things for whatever reason, or restrictions from society, telling us that what we are trying to pursue is unwise and unsafe. When we start to believe those restrictions – no matter the source – that is where our personal freedom becomes compromised. And that is where fear seeps through and begins to commandeer our lives.

According to Brendon, “fear rips us from freedom. It is is the destroyer of greatness.”

But only if we let it.

Reading this, it became clear to me that the only thing at the end of my funk was just a big bucket of fear, or as Brendon likes to call it, “bad management of my mind.”

He goes onto say:

“What comes of us when we are motivated by fear? We lose our emotional center and mental character. Our thoughts become frazzled and riddled with anxiety. All conscious thinking, intelligence, and behavior narrow to self-protection, limiting our capabilities to be open and strong. Our natural tendencies for genuine self-expression are paused, and our ability to act to fulfill our dreams is paralyzed. When we allow fear as a constant in our lives, our ambitions and behaviors become small and constrained. We become timid and stressed. We withdraw. We become cowards. Life’s energy entropies – all things trapped in the cage of fear smother and die quickly.”

Reading that passage felt like he was reading my mind. And that was enough to get me out of my funk.

Sometimes just calling attention to a situation, and really putting your finger on what is at the root of it is all you need to get unstuck, to get out of the moment that you couldn’t get out of.

If you can relate, need help getting out of a funk, or need some tools to get out of a future one, here are 5 things that can help:

1. Revisit your goals and set new ones.

If we have trouble remembering what our purpose is, life can feel overwhelming. So get clear on what it is that you want. Why do you wake up each morning? What are you fighting for? Write down your goals, post where you can see them, and remind yourself of your purpose every day.

2. Go for a walk. 10 minutes is all you need.

Seriously. According to this study, a 10 minute walk not only promotes heart health, but it also increases brain function and eases depression!

3. Practice gratitude.

Get yourself a journal and commit to writing at least 10 things you are grateful for in it each day.

4. Call a friend or family member just to say hi. Ask about how they are, and just listen.

Taking the focus off your situation and onto someone else’s gives your mind a break from all the self deprecating thinking. And score – you get to reconnect with your family and friends, and be there for them in ways you may not have known they needed you to be.

5. Do something nice for someone else without expecting anything in return.

Giving is one of the best ways I know to boost happiness and increase your sense of purpose, which is often clouded during a funk. I dare you to do something nice for someone else and not feel great afterward!

Are you ready to turn that debbie downer funk into an uptown funk?

Well break out your dancing shoes, ’cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you!

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

Your crazy friend,

Lauren
xxx